Second, thank you for being a plant enthusiast.

      Third, you have now apparently been bitten by the serious bromeliad bug. This means you will have to abandon all you know about the cultivation of carrots. You are entering a new world of plants that are total individuals. They do what they want, when they want and as little as they want. If you ignore them they will be happy. When you go by them, sneak a peek out of the corner of your eye and appreciate them but don't let them know you are looking or care a fig about them!

      While this sounds rough, it is kind of a game between you. They don't care about you but they bloom and try to brighten your day. But they bloom if it suits them and the blooms usually don't last long. You have to act like you don't care about them, then I think they will try harder! You have to be observant! You have to catch them at it. Some have many blossoms but they open one or two at a time, kind of tantalizing you. Some open almost all at once and are gone in a few days. So you get to worrying when you go on a trip, will it bloom while I'm gone. So you get a photo-sitter to sneak a picture for you if it happens.

     There are two basically different groups of bromeliads. There are the epiphytic kind (hang on things like trees, power lines, whatever, whose roots are like ivy holdfasts and give almost no nourishment) and the vase types that collect water in the vase and have a whole aquatic environment that, in the jungle, includes providing incubators for frogs and yes, mosquitos!
      One property that all bromeliads seem to have in common is the superior ability to succumb to damp rot when the base is kept too wet. This is really the only problem, learning to determine when it needs water and where and how much to give it. Generally they do not like being fussed over. As I said they like to go their own way. And in the jungle that works well, with the occasional showers and mists, and the occasional droppings from birds, insects etc.

      But when we take them inside we destroy this self sufficient order of the jungle and substitute a dry air household that is one temperature all the time and doesn't have the usual purveyors of nutrients. It is often further aggravated by the continual presence and poking and prodding of a big human thing with brow lines of worry that is trying to imagine what kind of ice cream their dear plant would like. But they don't want to be a kept thing. They want their individuality and so there is a constant tug of war between the plant and the human thing!
      The upshot is that the human thing is going to guess wrong occasionally and feel bad when the plant gives up. But then the human thing begins to learn to relax and accept plant death as a normal thing when a plant is grown radically out of its natural habitat. To complicate it further, we are used to plants that go on year after year, trying to show off how beautiful they are and keep producing flowers that are bigger and better so their human thing will smile when they go by. Roses are very good at this.
      But bromeliads don't care what we think. They have adopted a policy of doing what they want in the best way they can, ONCE. Then they quit and go to the great greenhouse in the sky, leaving behind their progeny, pups. These small plantlets are usually at least half the size of their parent before it dies. They can be left to clump or they can be separated and potted up to redo the whole cycle.
      Roses bloom for years and when they die they are gone. Bromeliads however leave a timeless string of pups so that although one plant dies it sends its DNA into the future apparently forever.
      But sometimes we humans interfere and create intolerable conditions that interrupt this continuous chain and the plant dies without pupping. That is the end of that line! Regrettable but something for us to learn from.
      Water less rather than more. Let the dirt get pretty dry between waterings. When you buy a plant, buy two and treat them differently. You will begin to learn what works and what doesn't. Water is the giver of life but can also be the destroyer. You might fertilize but rarely and with dilute fertilizer. And avoid fish emulsion fertilizers like the plague.
      In the jungle these plants have developed a water and nutrient absorbing system called scales. These are the grey powdery looking things on the leaves, that are sometimes rather scarce and sometimes overwhelming to give a fuzzy appearance. These scales open and close when appropriate to let in what the plant needs in the way of water and nutrients. If you give the plant more than it needs it will simply run off and create great conditions for fungi and other nemeses of bromeliads.

      Tell me a little about yourself and your growing conditions. Perhaps I can send you a few to try.

      On that plant, just last night, I realized that the thing in the middle {the pink "flower"} lifted right out, but there is still foliage in the flower pot.